Question

Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullah wa Barakatuhu,

I have two concerns regarding missed fard fasts.

Among my three children, I have accumulated 261 days of missed Ramadan fasts.

Over the years, I have attempted various plans, such as fasting on Mondays and Thursdays or continuous fasting until completion. However, each year, I enter the new month of Ramadan with only one or two days completed during the preceding year. Unfortunately, my reliance on coffee has become an addiction, and the headaches I experience on the first day of fasting make it challenging to continue. I recognize this struggle as a test from Shaytan or my own nafs, as I can overcome it during the blessed month of Ramadan.

I am also uncertain about the year I began fasting in my youth. Despite consulting my parents, they cannot recall. Given that I reached puberty at an early age, it is estimated that I missed two or three Ramadans. I started praying at the age of 12, having already missed two years. Alhamdulillah, I am diligently working on completing the qada prayers, even though it's at a slow pace.

While I make progress with my qada prayers, I find it challenging to address my qada fasts, leading to spiritual distress. This has even started affecting the new days missed during Ramadan due to my menses, adding to the existing count. I feel embarrassed and as if I am unable to complete them. Is there an opinion that allows me to offer fidya or a similar compensation?

If not, how can I determine the number of years I missed during my youth? Could you provide advice on adhering to a schedule for completing my fasts?

Answer

Waʿalaykum al-Salām wa Raḥmat Allāh wa Barakātuh.

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

We understand your concern regarding the large number of missed fasts. May Allah reward you for your efforts and make it easy for you to complete this obligation.

The current total of missed fasts may seem like a significant burden, but with perseverance and continued effort, Insha'Allah, you will be able to make them up.

Fidya, which is a payment made in lieu of fasting, is only permissible for those who are permanently unable to fast, due to reasons such as chronic illness or old age. Since you are able to fast, even if it is with difficulty, it is still obligatory for you to do so.[i]

If you are unsure of the exact date you reached puberty, you may estimate the date to the best of your ability and act accordingly. You are only responsible for what is within your control. After making a sincere effort, any shortcomings are ultimately up to Allah's judgment and we have hope in Allah’s mercy. It is still recommended, however, to keep track of the number of fasts you owe.

We advise you to take advantage of the winter season, when the days are shorter and the nights are longer. This will allow you to have your suhur meal before dawn and break your fast earlier in the evening.

As the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, "Winter is a spring for the believer, the days are short so he fasts and the nights are long so he stands in prayer." - al-Sunan al-Kubrā of Imam Bayhaqi

Therefore, instead of viewing this situation as a source of spiritual distress, try to view it as an opportunity for spiritual growth. There are many spiritual benefits to fasting, such as increased mindfulness of Allah, weakening the desires of the self (nafs), and making it easier to perform other righteous deeds.

May Allah grant you the strength and perseverance you need.

And Allah knows best.